Life of Pwee
by Sweetly Delightful
Summary: Subject 1 is an ordinary parrot in a research facility where he befriends a woman called Claire. Then she sets him free and this...is the life of pwee (not a silly name) rated T for swearing, death and general author paranoia. KInda pwee x Claire but in a friendship way! Honest!
1. Chapter 1

**Life of Pwee**

**Okay, so I have really enjoyed writing a funny fanfic (What could have gone wrong) and so I decided to write another fanfic on the funny side and it is about Pwee, my parrot in the unwound future (No Pwee is not a stupid name *blush*) and it's sort of his diary, so it's not very detailed.**

Monday

Arrived in the test facility yesterday and they tested on me. It hurt. There is a cat and a rabbit here too. Now they've left a book here to test my intelligence?! Is there something wrong with me? Is that why I'm here in this godforsaken place with a scientist who looks like a girl? God, they are so ridiculous.

Tuesday

They tried to read the book and realized I can't write English. Hah! Idiots! Stupid people who don't know my true talents. There was a new girl here today. By which I mean she's younger than the others, probably, twenty? The head scientist (what a girl) was fawning over her like "ooh I love you Claire" but she wasn't interested and instead she was asking about our wellbeing (as in the animals-I'm subject 1, cat is subject 2, and the rabbit is subject 3) You know what, I think she's my favourite.

Wednesday

More tests. What do they need us for? They're doing different tests on all of us, but I'm still not sure what mine are doing-apart from talking and writing, but I could do that yesterday. Subject 3 can talk too, and he's always telling the scientists what he thinks of them. It's hilarious! Claire was back again today, she gave me some food. There was no one around so I felt safe impersonating the head scientist and I told her "ooh I love you Claire" and she burst into a fit of giggles. "Clever parrot. You should be out there, learning new voices, not stuck in here." "Clever parrot, clever parrot," I said to her in her voice and she laughed at me. Then subject 3 said "Stop admiring freakshow over there, I'm hungry!" which annoyed me. "Freakshow, freakshow" I taunted, and then Claire told me to shush

Thursday

No tests today! Whoopee! Not on me and subject 3. They just took subject 2 now. I hope she's okay. She can make herself invisible! Wow. She can't talk though, which must be a major bummer. A different scientist came to give me my food today and she slopped it on the floor of my cage so I called her a naughty word which I learned off a scientist who is a nasty man and he called Claire a b****. You are a double b****! So anyway, the scientist went to feed subject 2 and I kept calling her that and then she told me to shut up and I said "Only if you clean my cage, b****" and she did clean it…eventually.

Friday

Subject 2 escaped last night. I guess they regret giving her that invisibility now. She's gone and she's free. Huh. Wish I was free. But all I can do is imitate voices, so I won't be escaping anytime soon. Subject 3 is quiet today, which is funny. I wonder what he's thinking about. Probably the same thing as me…that freedom would be nice. The same nasty scientist came today and told me "don't repeat anything I f***in say you little parrot s***!" So I learned new words! Claire fed me again today, was nice to see her and she said to me, "Don't call the lady a b****, subject 1. Okay?" I hate the name subject 1. I wish I had a different name.

**Okay, that's enough for me *collapses* just kidding! I hope you enjoyed this little life of Pwee chapter and stayed tuned; there is more to come! See yap!**

**P.S. DO NOT leaves a review saying Pwee is a silly name! It hurts my feelings!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Life of Pwee**

**So Pwee has spent some time in the research facility so freedom and Luke are coming in soon. Yay for happy parrots! Now let's go!**

Saturday

Subject 3 tried to escape last night. Didn't work. What an idiot-he tried to sneak out the back entrance and got caught by those two stupids who guard the room. Mind you, I could probably sneak through there. I don't think- aah!

Sunday

I had to stop yesterday because they took me out for more tests. The same b****y scientist gave me my lunch and slopped it again, so I was like, "hey, you s*** scientist" and she stormed out. Then the head scientist came in and told me if I didn't stop swearing then he was going to have to lock me up. "Already locked, already locked," I replied. "No subject 1, in a dark room." So I shut up.

Monday

Claire came to give me my lunch today and she was acting a bit strange. "Hey little parrot," she said and she put my lunch in the cage. Then she left without speaking to me! But when she was done with subject 3, she came back and got her ring caught in the bars of my cage, on purpose. "Be awake at midnight subject 1" she whispered and detached her ring from the bars and walked away. I wonder what she meant. I got taken out for another test today and hey, it was b****y scientist so I made a face at her and she practically exploded like a rage balloon! It was hilarious!

Tuesday

I'M FREE! I stayed awake till midnight like Claire said, and she came and unlocked my cage and so I grabbed my book and followed her out of the facility. "Goodbye Claire." I said sadly. "Goodbye little parrot. Fly free out there!" So here I am. Free at last!

Wednesday

Was just flying around the city, like you do when you are free, and saw this guy with a top hat and a boy dressed in blue. The boy asked me where I came from but I didn't want to be captive again and I flew away. Hmm. Maybe I'll see them again sometime.

**Okay, sorry that was short but the next chapter will be quite long, so that's why I stopped. See yap!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Life of Pwee**

**Okay, so this chapter is basically going to be the lost future from pwee's POV. So, you can skip it. But that would be mean, so please read!**

Friday

What a day! I didn't write yesterday because I was a tiny bit busy getting a new owner and saving the world. I was flying round the Thames and this guy insulted me so I stole his things on his wrist. Then that boy and the top hat with another guy who looked like the boy turned up and they thought they could get me down with a jewel. Huh! Like they thought I was just a stupid magpie. But I came down anyway to talk to the boy and he was nice, his name is Luke. And he gave me a proper name, my name is Pwee. So then I went with him and top hat and we went all over the place. Literally, we went to the real London, then we came back underground and went to Chinatown; where we met the head scientist because it turns out he's evil! I hope Claire isn't evil. Then we went to the Thames-and then we went back to that miserable facility. I was so scared that the head scientist would take me away and I stayed close to Luke the whole time. Then we went to a restaurant and top hat told everyone that they were underground and evil scientist explained why he was evil. And that the Prime minister is evil. And it turned out that the boy who looks like Luke was evil! He tried to destroy the real London with a big machine but I went with Luke and top hat and a girl called Flora and we saved the world! Well. London. But we still saved lots of lives! And the boy who looks like Luke was sorry for what he did

But there was something else.

We met Claire in the facility, but she pretended to be her sister. I knew it was her though; because she looked at me with a look that said, don't tell. She came with us to save the world and she saved the life of the boy who looks like Luke. But then she told everyone who she was. It turns out that Claire was in love with top hat but he thought she'd died years ago. And the truth is, she did die. But she travelled in time to say goodbye to top hat. And that meant she had to die again.

She talked to top hat for a bit, and then she turned to me. "Remember to fly free, Pwee. Please tell Hershel I love him very much." I felt so sad. My first ever friend was leaving me. "Goodbye Claire," I said, and she stepped back and kissed top hat. "Thank you for everything. Goodbye." Then she turned and walked round the corner. I will never see Claire again.

Saturday

Turns out Claire isn't the only one leaving. Luke's leaving too. He's moving to Toronto, which is a place in a country called Canada. Luke showed me on a map. Then he showed me some photos. It looked like a lot of snow to me. I miss Claire so much. But only top hat understands how I feel. I imitated her voice for him and maybe it made him feel better. But when you look into his eyes, you can still see the pain.

Sunday

I still miss Claire. Top hat found my book and asked me if I wanted a picture of Claire in it. So I said yes and we stuck a picture in it. It's nice to have it there. For her. In this house, top hat, Luke and Flora all treat me a bit like a person, but I still hate the outside world. I was flying outside and some kids threw rocks at me. So I used all the naughty words I learnt off that scientist and they ran away. That nasty scientist. I hate him twice as much for being mean to Claire now.

**Depression alert! This chapter is supposed to be sad because Claire leaves and all, but I guess I'm really depressed right now. See yap!**


End file.
